Doing the funky chicken comes of age

More recently I realized that I had, in fact, constructed an enormous Rube Goldberg of self delusion regarding the exact number of years that have passed since my birth.

Here’s more family humor from one of the Charleston Mercury columnists, Patra Taylor.

Me! One of the beautiful people

I spent spring break in South Florida with the beautiful people.

At this point, the accomplished storyteller should be waxing poetic about the exploits of her college break (sadly, only one) spent in sunny Florida in order to move the storyline forward. While I would love to re-live those few short days on the beach in Fort Lauderdale, and embellish my memories enough to make them worth reading about, I fear pushing the rewind button on that coming-of-age period in my life would trigger enough specifics to flash the approximate date of that trip across my conscious mind causing me to be just one spontaneous subtraction problem away from inadvertently recalling my current age, rounded to the nearest year. I’m pretty good at math, so I’ve decided not to go there. Continue reading “Doing the funky chicken comes of age”

Death and taxes

Living forever sounds like a full-time job to me, and doesn’t seem to include the orange juice and a half a bag of Ruffles® I had for breakfast.

Here’s some senior humor by Charleston Mercury columnist, Patra Taylor.

You grew older today (no kidding)

Benjamin Franklin said, “The only things certain in life are death and taxes.” If you believe Ray Kurzweil, the modern-day Thomas Edison, by the end of the 21st century Franklin’s adage may have to be altered to read, “The only thing certain in life is taxes.” Continue reading “Death and taxes”

Medieval “Typo” Results in International Day of Foolery

Modern scholars believe Chaucer’s passage meant 32 days after March, or May 2.

April Fools!

Can you believe it? The worldwide custom of playing pranks on your friends and family on April 1 actually has its roots in Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, which dates back to the early 1390s. As the tale goes, the cocky cock, Chauntecleer, dismisses premonitions of his own death only to be tricked by a cagey fox whose main objective was securing another delicious chicken dinner. (He’d already made a couple of satisfying meals of Chauntecleer’s mom and pop.) Physic chickens and Col. Sanders’ original original recipes aside, the adoption of April 1 as the international holiday for ticking off your loved ones with you obnoxious adolescent practical jokes may have resulted from a 14th centuryy typo (a.k.a. copying error.)  Instead of “March 32,” interpreted as April 1, modern scholars believe Chaucer’s passage meant 32 days after March, or May 2. Continue reading “Medieval “Typo” Results in International Day of Foolery”

Consents, concerns and failure to fit

Hey, pharmaceutical companies! We aging Baby Boomers are neither deaf nor stupid!

Here’s some senior humor by Charleston Mercury columnist, Patra Taylor.

Meet the Intergalactic Interloper

“Have you heard this news story about how some universities are requiring students to have a written agreement before they have…well, you know?” I asked my husband as I pointed to the television.

Stephen smirked. “Nothing says amour quite like a signed affidavit.”

My husband. Always the grammarian…and smart aleck. Continue reading “Consents, concerns and failure to fit”

Science fair draws cynical parents closer to nature

Mandatory science fairs and their evil spawn, science projects, are the scourge of parenthood brought on by the “Sputnik scare.” They should have been banned, like nuclear proliferation, at the end of the Cold War.

Here’s a bit of family humor by one of the Charleston Mercury columnists, Patra Taylor.

How many ant farms does it take?

It’s been weeks since Punxsutawney Phil poked his sleepy little head out of his burrow, spied something dark and ominous, and darted back to his comfy featherbed to wile away another six weeks of winter. Most people believe Phil was frightened by his own shadow. I have a different theory. Continue reading “Science fair draws cynical parents closer to nature”

The wolf, the chocolates and the curse jar – Part 1

My decision to give up this skill that I had cultivated for the better part of half a century was prompted by a recent study that found that residents of Ohio, my birthplace, curse more than anyone else in the country.

Here’s a bit of senior humor by one of the Charleston Mercury columnists, Patra Taylor.

I learned to curse from an expert

It’s hard to believe that one twelfth of the New Year is already behind us. To keep my mind off just how fast my life is slipping through my fingers, I decided to take a moment to evaluate how I’m doing on this year’s resolutions. Losing weight and exercising remain the top picks for Americans looking to begin improving their lives with the flip of a calendar. Sadly, aging found me facing the next 365 days embracing a new pragmatism. Continue reading “The wolf, the chocolates and the curse jar – Part 1”