Straw men and empty suits

While PM Trudeau’s words had me wide-eyed and a little horrified, my accurate transcription fails to capture the accompanying awkward hand gestures that inspired a few hand gestures of my own, one in particular.

[This column first appears in the July 2019 issue of The Charleston Mercury.]

57 million straws a day

[In op-ed columnists’ latest installment of RAWW (Rants of an Angry White Woman) Patra Taylor introduces readers to the  Straw men and empty suits of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s world.] Continue reading “Straw men and empty suits”

Stay-cation results in journey of no return

As I sat thinking of the glory days ahead, my almost liberated brain alit upon an interesting idea…a stay-cation in which I would do only what I really wanted to do for seven consecutive days and nights.

(This bit of family humor by Patra Taylor appeared in the June 2010 issue of The Charleston Mercury.

Three months of freedom begins

The morning of the last day of the school year found me counting the minutes until the final bell rang in anticipation of that glorious moment when I…ah, I mean, Benn could finally herald in the long-awaited Season of Freedom, more commonly referred in to in these parts as summer. Arriving at Benn’s school an hour early (he asked me not to be late), I sat in my vehicle along the carpool route enjoying the light breeze flowing through my open windows with delicious thoughts of nearly three whole months of not being jarred out of bed by that annoying beeping of my alarm clock dancing through my head. I knew I won’t be able to de-program myself from waking up at the same early hour as I always do, but allowing my eyes to flutter open of their own accord is a whole lot easier on certain of my vital organs. Continue reading “Stay-cation results in journey of no return”

Coots, codgers and a kick in the shin

While I still appreciate the simplicity of the “sticks and stones” problem-solving paradigm, I prefer to think I’ve evolved with the times. Today, bullies are dealt with through zero tolerance policies, the arduous criminal justice system and lengthy civil lawsuits.

At the risk of sounding antediluvian, the playground protocol from the era I grew up in seemed a whole lot simpler than it is today. When confronted with taunting and name-calling, a girl like me would first initiate the “sticks and stones” defense.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Continue reading “Coots, codgers and a kick in the shin”

Howling dogs make for sweet summer dreams

All these years later, I’m still a dreamer. I believe our dreams are who we really are. Every one of us is a little bit rock star, a little bit astronaut, and a little bit Stanley Cup winner.

[This appeared in the July 8, 2004 edition of the Charleston Mercury.]

These boots were made for walking

I was almost a ‘60s sensation.

In the summer of ’66, I decided to form an all-girl rock band, a cutting edge idea at the time, especially for a girl of 10.  I figured a generation that welcomed the Beatles, the Animals and the Rolling Stones would also be receptive to a group of pre-pubescent, relatively talent-less rockers of another sort. I was clearly ahead of my time. Continue reading “Howling dogs make for sweet summer dreams”

Saving Trinity

Mike quickly discovered the door was open and the church was welcoming, so he found himself inside, marveling at the church’s sophisticated architectural and pondering the original intent of those who built it in Abbeville on the eve of the American Civil War.

Sacred Spaces

Saving Trinity is the fourth in a series by Patra Taylor about Preservation South Carolina’s efforts to save the state’s rural Sacred Spaces. This article appeared in the June 2019 issue of the Charleston Mercury.

Excerpt from article: Each time Bedenbaugh turns the lock in the door, he bears the responsibility of representing the passions and integrity of the board of directors of Preservation South Carolina for which he serves as executive director. More importantly, he has made promises to the church’s congregants, to the community, to the Episcopal diocese. Saving this church edifice for future generations is personal. To Mike, they’re all personal. Continue reading “Saving Trinity”

The Divided States of America

Just avoid talk of religion, politics or money with our friends and family at our Fourth of July gathering, and all will be well? Not anymore. It seems there is little we can talk about with each other that won’t result in at least a war of words, and at most, a brawl.

[Op ed columnists have long been among the most admired writers to Patra Taylor. In January 2019, she decided to jump into the churning waters of opinion writing with her own iteration she calls RAWW, Rants of an Angry White Woman…quite a transformation from the humor she specialized in for a decade and a half.]

One nation under God…not anymore

The Divided States of America appeared in the June 2019 issue of the Photo of couple arguing.Charleston Mercury. Continue reading “The Divided States of America”

Sasquatch, Ceaușescu and summer

I knew only because I live with a know-it-all brainbox who believes it’s his solemn responsibility to educate those of us who are “less fortunate” in the IQ department.

Here’s more senior humor from one of the Charleston Mercury columnists, Patra Taylor.

Let Sleeping Bigfoot Lovers (and dogs) Lie

“…eep already?”

“Huh?” I opened one eye just enough to see my husband’s silhouette in the doorway, the harsh light from the hallway making that eye hurt.

“Are you asleep already?”

“What was your first clue, genius?” I didn’t actually say that out loud because I was incapable of speech at the moment. But the fact is, my husband is one of those genius types…a real egghead leaning hard into eccentricity. Like most geniuses, my beloved husband is just one silk-lined smoking jacket away from full-blown weirdness. Continue reading “Sasquatch, Ceaușescu and summer”